"Real" Friends

I saw this post Real People on Cheryl Manz's blog a few days ago and it really made me think....

In fact I couldn’t stop thinking of the deeper meaning and truth that it spoke to me. Real people – yes, those are the people who stand by your side when the road gets rocky… real people are the friends who really care, so here goes my entry on Friendship and Real People/Friends….

"We walked together, but than our road separated – for no reason, it just divided up, and lead us in different directions. That’s alright… things are meant for a reason and sometimes you don’t know the reason right away, while other times you do. In this instance, I understand, I grasp the concept and it’s ok. Our road was only meant to be traveled together for some time. We gave and took what we needed that instance, it was balanced and good. Than one day the road divided up and we both walked in different directions. I looked forward, you looked backwards and our walking together had come to a stop."

Life is a journey and lot of things can happen. Nothing is granted… if you are fortunate enough you are blessed with some “real” friends who are part of your journey, you are also blessed with people who are part of some of your journey, and everything is for a reason. I have a very few selected people who have blessed my life in so many ways and have been part of it in one form or another for the past 15 – 2 years. You never know when you met someone who will become that ”real” friend who stands on your side, no matter what. You go through trials and errors, you learn and you move on. Or sometimes, you look back and you decided to give it another try, because something was there, something was meant to be. Friendship is a fragile thing with so many definitions. You probably can ask 100 people and get a different answer from each one. There is no universal definition and that’s why there is a big difference between friends and acquaintances. Friends who are part of your life, not only for some time but they are standing by your side and supporting you, usually have a very close definition when it comes to the word “friendship” as you have it. “Acquaintances” or people you hang out with usually have another definition, another understanding of it and sooner or later, you either accept it or you move on. I know this might sound harsh and it’s not intended to in any way. I know there are always going to be friends and acquaintances as both are needed for a balanced life…But I also know that there is a huge difference between friends and acquaintances … HUGE! How could there not be… how could you not value someone who you can rely on no matter what more than someone you can’t? See – here lies the difference. Being able to let go, being able to trust, being able to know that you securely can let yourself fall and be picked up again and that you are there to pick up if necessary. The difference is that you can call your “real” friend and they will listen, even if they have heard it before, if the have given you advise, - nevertheless, they listen again. They listen if its 6 a.m. in the morning, or if it’s midnight, and they don’t tell you “I got to go” because they can hear in your voice that it’s important, they just know! And of course, the same goes in return, because “real” friendship is like a scale – there needs to be balance on each end.
Like I said, I am blessed with a handful of these miracle friends – people I can call, people who care truly and than I have people in my life as most of us do, who don’t really want to listen, who tell you they call back because they have to go but never do. In simple actions like this lays the solution of what category they fall into, lays the answers for what they want to be in your life. It’s simple – and although you may think it’s not, just take a minute and really evaluate your life, your friends, and people who play a part/role in it. All you have to do is listen to how they react to you … are they really there when you need them or do they chicken out when it’s important. It’s an interesting process to go through and sometimes surprising. At times you already knew the answer, but secretly you are hoping you may have been wrong… than you go through the “real listening” process and dong, it might hit you by surprise that your instinct was right all along.
Anyways, the reason I am writing this long post is to put down black and white and for all times, that people who truly care are the ones you give back to, the ones you invest in, the ones that you should value above all else, and the ones that you should appreciate and value as no others. Because those are the ones who give your life TRUE meaning. The ones that I truly appreciate and value – my heart reaches out to all of you for the smiles, the laughter’s and the shoulders you have shared with me and I know that in the years to come there is much more to explore and celebrate. Those are the REAL friends!