Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Seeing the world from a different angle and hoping for a bday miracle

I never thought I would have had to say that seeing the world from a different angle can open your eyes to so many things.
But it has and still does...

I am currently walking in a 120% - 130% angle, meaning that my upper body is bend forward and once again I have to use my cane. It all started last week on Tuesday... I felt a slight cramp in my leg but tried to ignore it. Wednesday it continued and on Thanksgiving I already was walking bend over. On Friday my entire body was in so much pain that every move hurt. Sitting, laying, walking... nothing felt right and each move brougth tears to my eyes. My friend Inken (what a godsend) had me in for a chiropractor appointment on Friday evening after she heard me almost crying on the phone. They gave me a massage and some ice treatment which gave a little relieve for a few hours, but at nighttime I was back in excrucitaing pain. Saturday morning I went back to the chiropractor and hoped for a miracle as it was Jer's birthday. But the miracle didn't happen. I tried to drag myself around for a little bit to give a little Joy to Jer on his birthday but even though I wanted to pretend that I am ok, I was not able to and I ended up in bed in the late afternoon. Poor guy! I still feel so terrible for not being able to give him a birthday he truly deserved! The only position that felt right was to lay on my side with my legs up to my chest. But even that started to get painful after a few hours. All the pain pills didn't help and Sunday was pure terror. I called my doctor yesterday to see if I could get the epidural shots, but without much success. Although I found out that I have 2 slipped disks and not just one, he wants me to try PT one more time. I finally scheduled an appointment with an acupuncurist for this evening. My boss has been talking very highly of acupuncurist treatments and has recommended to me to see one since my last back "attack". Back than the pain was bad, but not bad enough for me to have someone put needles in me all over my body. Yesterday I felt pain that I never thought would be possible. My entire body just felt like a big cramp and each move brought tears to my eyes. I heard from a few other friends and people I know that acupuncure has really helped relieve some pain. So now I am waiting paiently to go in and to get the needle treatment. I am still freaked out about the needles but if it helps, I really dont care that much right now anymore. Just want to get better and hopefully be able to stand up on my birthday tomorrow. I can not imagine spending my 33rd birthday in bed all drugged up with pain pills. So wish me good luck this evening and pray that they dont only do a consultation but actually relieve me of some of my pain! I will post an update soon!
Anyhow, life really looks quite different from my current position. Dont ever take for granted the way you move, the easiness with which you sit in a chair or drive, the simple moves to open a cabinet or the fridge, the peaceful sleep you get each night... The only thing I am praying for at this moment is to be able to move around painfree! To feel like a person again ... and to see the miracles my body is able to perform. I know that this was given to me with some sort of purpose... things dont just happen without a reason... and although the main reason is not clear to me right now, I have learned that a nice word, a hug, being there for someone in pain can go a long way! Thanks for your kind words and for your support! You have no idea how much that helped during a period like this!
You are my angles! THank YOU!!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh sweetie. I hope you can find some relief!! HUGS!

Anonymous said...

hugs!!! feel better! you're in my prayers

Anonymous said...

so sorry that you were/are in so much pain! i hope you are feeling better and that your birthday was a painfree one!!
hugs!

assi

Anonymous said...

Oh Syb.
I am so sad that you are feeling such terrible pain. I wish there was something I could do.
Hugs and prayers.
I am here for you if you need anything.

Sarah